Day of Illusions

Suddenly there was snow this morning, flying sideways by my window, flake after huge flake! I have to travel later and it frightened me  – at my age snow can be challenging. But it wasn’t snow; it was a huge flock of pigeons riding the 25-mph winds, moving so fast and close they looked like snow.

Dec. 25th, day of illusions. My birthday but not my birthday. It wasn’t my birth they were celebrating at the midnight mass in St. Peter’s Basilica on TV last night. It wasn’t even someone alive I was competing with.  It was a shiny, plastic infant the Pope carried to the creche as we all watched, hoping he’d make it all the way after hours of standing and kneeling.

I wonder if I’d feel differently if I were Christian. I wonder how it influenced me, being born in 2nd place. Was that why I only made the 2nd volleyball team?  Was that how come I only understudied the lead in our senior play, The Crucible?

First thing this AM, a Jacquie Lawson birthday card arrived.  If you don’t know her cards, they’re really wonderful. This was a musical one with bears, but it was the message that got me.  “Seventy-eight” was written out in words, like I just did here. It’s one thing to see it in numbers, another to say it out loud, but this was something else altogether!  I had absolutely no connection with those particular hyphenated words!

Hah! Another illusion!

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