Have you ever screwed up, over and over again? Said the absolutely unnecessary and wrong thing to folks you love just because some tiny part of your ego had been pinged?
And with the advent of emails, oh wonderful invention, I find it’s easier than ever to feel my ego pinged, to read something into something that probably isn’t there. Even if it is, in normal (face-to-face) conversation you might just say “huh?” or “watch it, kiddo,” and let it pass quickly and be gone!
I’ve apologized so much in my life for screw-ups…I always have a reason, true enough in its fashion. But now it’s time for me to accept that this is a part of who I am and stop making excuses. It’s not a part I especially like, this part that sees the worst, feels the worst, says the worst, and it’s not all of who I am, or no one would love me at all!
By accepting this part of myself, my hope is that others will too. Perhaps I can apologize less and trust that those who love me will always have one more cheek to turn.